Thursday 6 April 2017

Cassie's Mistakes #1

Cassie looked in the mirror one last time. For past weeks she tried her best to look perfect. She found peace in finding that perfection in her skin, on her hair, or in her everyday outfits. As never before, her every step, every word, every move was planned out throughly. It was almost as if she was a robot, but it was the only way she could keep her mind somewhat sane. She didn't let her feelings overcome her.

Claded in a dress much too elegant for the occassion, she put on heels similarly special. Finally, it was time. Leaving her safe zone, her little apartment was always hard, but she pushed through. Called taxi and was ready to survive that evening.

___

Arriving at the family house, she was greeted with confused looks. Her elegant dress looked indeed weird amongst sweaters, jeans and simple skirts. "Looks like I am a bit overdressed tonight." She joked with one of those fake giggles she mastered. Nobody laughed with her. Her mother quickly leaded her towards her chair, trying to ignore that little scene that just happened..

Was it a nice evening? Cassie wouldn't know. Her mind was focused on perfecting her reactions, and when it wasn't, it drifted away. To the land of her own fantasies and wishes that could not ever become true. She knew they wouldn't, yet, she had to dream of them. It was quite masochistic, but Cassie needed this. As much as she needed this faked perfection...

As soon as she could, she excused herself, and called taxi. A quiet ride home. Once again she was in her only safe place. The only place where she could be herself.. As she took off her coat and decided it's time to wash off her make-up, she heard a doorbell. It right away pushed her out of her routine, and she really did not like that. Nobody was supposed to come over, and anyway it was getting late already. 

With a little sigh, Cassie went to see who it was, and froze as soon as door opened. Her skin became pale, and her eyes widened. One would think she saw a ghost but it wasn't a ghost at all.

"Caleb."


Right in front of her stood young man, a cause of all that "unhuman" behaviour. Although, this time his outfit was more special than usual, even fitting her dress a little. And first time ever she saw him with a bouqet of roses in his hand.

"Hi." He said quietly. "Here..." He handled her the roses. "It's for you."

Cassie remained silent, but she took the roses in her hand. She looked them over before her eyes returneed to his face, her eyebrow rising in confusion.

Silence. She did not let him inside at all, and he did not ask to be let in. Which she was grateful for. Caleb hid his hands in his pockets and chuckled awkwardly. "That will sound cheesy, but I, uhm, I missed you."

Sounding cheesy is one thing. Yet, those words together with what he did a few months ago, how he broke her world in pieces, well... those words sounded really rude. She looked at roses one more time, before she threw them right into his face and slammed the door shut.

"Fuck! Ouch, Cassie, damn!" It probably hurt. Roses were dangerous in the way. Cassie had to admit she did not think about that. She was breathing heavily, almost panicking, her mind going crazy. She did not know what to think. "Cassie... Fuck, I am sorry, alright. I really miss you!"

Silence. And then sound of her footsteps. She left the little hall and returned to her bedroom. Curled up and let her tears destroy the beautiful make-up she spend almost hours on. Outside the door, Caleb sighed and left.

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